WeChat asked me who would be the five people I would want to connect with if I could play God, and here is my list. (The people could be dead, alive or even fictional)
There are certain things that I like. I am geek, who loves to read. I have been a lifelong Chelsea fan, which explains my interest in Football. I love music too, and I hate it when someone comments on my taste. Apart from that, I have a spiritual side as well. The people that I have chosen here represent my different varied interests at some level. I hope you enjoy reading about them!
P.S. Don't forget to go all the way down to read the actual conversation...
5. Sheldon Cooper (Fictional Character, The Big Bang Theory):
I don't need sleep, I need answers. I need to determine where, in this swamp of unbalanced formulas, squatteth the toad of truth!
Sheldon is generally a very chatty fellow and could offer his insight on topics ranging from flags (considering his podcasts on 'Fun with Flags') to something as complex as String Theory. As he has an opinion on almost everything, it would be fun talking to him as he steers the conversation his own way (and reminds me not to take his seat).
4. Axl Rose(Vocalist, Guns N' Roses):
Thanks to the lame-ass security, I am going home!
3. Sir Isaac Asimov (Author, 1920-1992):
Have a look at the video of the aforementioned interview.
2. Roman Abramovich (Owner, Chelsea Football Club):
Although I have a lot of praises for him, I would still ask him why he is so trigger happy. Or perhaps, it's possible that the media has portrayed a very wrong picture of him (since he never goes for any interviews!) It would be one doubt that is worth getting cleared.
1. Swami Vivekananda (Indian Monk, 1864-1902):
There is perhaps nothing that I could ask him- because of his divine nature, he would probably guess what is troubling me and solve my issues with his blessings without even uttering a single word.
Let the chat begin:
I call upon our very own Arnab Goswami, editor in chief of Times Now, to mediate this pentagonal discussion by summoning these great personalities. (Read this conversation out in the voices of Arnab and Sheldon to really enjoy it)
Arnab: Please speak when you are spoken to Mr Shaumik. Let me complete my sentence first. Anyways, my apologies to you all. Tonight, we shall discuss on the biggest issue in the nation today- the IPL spot fixing. We would try to find out reasons why the youth of the nation indulges in unethical, unfair, shady business!
Sheldon: I don't earn peanuts. I earn money. I can buy a lot of peanuts with that money.
Me: He meant it sarcastically, Sheldon.
Me: Hey Sheldon, are you really hoping that your eyes will emit laser beams? Are you crazy?
Sheldon: I am not crazy, my mother had me tested.
Axl: That's an easy question. Lock them up and unleash Justin Bieber's songs. Their mental situation would degrade beyond repair. You know it's not a coincidence that Kurt Cobain shot himself just a month after Bieber was born.
Arnab: That's okay Axl, but the matter does not end there. What about his millions of Bieber fans. Aren't you afraid of their wrath once they get to know this?
Axl: Huh. I dismantled the greatest rock band ever, I started the greatest riots, I don't fear anyone.
Arnab: And you take pride in that? Let me come back to you later. My next question to Swami Vivekananda. Swamiji, what are your views on the situation?
Vivekananda: When I asked God for wealth, he showed me how to work hard. God gave me nothing I wanted, but he gave me everything I needed.
Arnab: Well said, Swamiji. But what message do you have for the youth?
Vivekananda: The fire that warms us can also consume us; it is not the fault of the fire. We should not be submissive towards these earthly pleasures.
Arnab: My next question to -
Axl: This is so boring. I would rather invite Slash back to-
Arnab: Axl. Axl. Axl. AXL. Wait. Axl. I will come back to you and your dented & painted band. My next question for Sir Isaac Asimov. Do you think the modern day developments have a hand in such activities?
Asimov: The saddest aspect of life right now is that Science gathers knowledge faster than society gathers wisdom. The ones who are not smart enough, will get dragged into the vicious cycle.
Axl: Arnab, why are we talking about this topic? Shouldn't we be talking about how unsafe your country has become?
Me: It is for people like you that India is such an unsafe country. How much of security do you require when there is an alarming lack of manpower in the police force? And then, you still complain that your security is lame ass...
Arnab: There are even bigger issues at stake here- not just the safety of women, put those of the homeless too. Think of the Stonemen murders...
Axl throws his cell away.
Axl: Thanks to the lame ass application, I am going home.
Axl Rose has left the conversation.
Asimov: Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent. I wonder why you even called Axl Rose.
Sheldom: Who needs Axl? Me and Penny can sing better than him!
♫ Soft Kitty, Warm Kitty, Little Ball of Fur ♫
Sheldon sent a video.
Roman: I am sorry. I have a meeting to attend. Mourinho is breathing down my neck for funds to bring in The Hulk (not Bruce Banner).
Roman Abramovich has left the conversation.
Vivekananda: They alone live, who live for others. Permit me to leave.
Arnab: You can't, Swamiji. We need answers. I won't let you leave! Your spirituality can provide us with more than we can ever imagine! Do you-
Vivekanada has left the conversation.
Navjot Singh Sidhu has joined the conversation.
Me: Hey, you didn't have an invite, how did you pop up?
Sindhu: One who does not throw a dice can never expect to score a six! Thank you for welcoming me into your group. BTW, I used the WeChat shake feature and found you guys were nearby ;) I couldn't resist joining the discussion...
Arnab: Now that you have arrived Sherry paji, what are your views on the spot fixing?
Asimov: Anything that makes weak- physically, spiritually or intellectually- reject it as poison. This conversation is doing the same to me. Toodles.
Isaac Asimov has left the conversation.
Sheldon: Huh. They had such high self prestige. Who needs them? Let's play a game of Rock Paper Scissors Lizard Spock. Scissors cut paper, paper covers rock, rock crushes lizard, lizard poisons Spock. Spock smashes scissors, scissors decapitates lizard, lizard eats paper, paper disproves Spock, Spock vaporizes rock and as it always has, rock crushes scissors.
Me: You always choose Spock, Sheldon.
Sidhu: Anybody can pilot a ship when the sea is calm!
Arnab: I will not have you destroy my show. We shall find answers tonight. IPL 6 has been overshadowed by controversies. Above all, Srinivasan refuses to step down. What have the people become? Is there no self respect? The nation has -
*Yawns* Shaumik Daityari has left the conversation.
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